To Have and Not To Hold
by SilentScream
Summary: One shot songfic. Pietro thinks about what has happened while Tabby's music seeps into his room. Rietro. This is my frist fic so please be nice.


Disclaimer: _I don't own the X-Men, the beer, or the song. _

To Have and Not to Hold

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Pietro burst through the door of the Brotherhood house. Huffing and stomping past the kitchen and heading upstairs.

PFFT….That was the sound of Lance opening his beer can, he was leaning on the doorframe, therefore blocking Pietro's way.

"Things not go to well?"

"Fuck off Lance."

"Feisty, she turn you down again?" Lance gave him a questioning look.

"Outta' my way Lance!" Pietro said while shoving him to the side, making his way up stairs. 

Lance turned to Todd who just witnessed that bizarre scene. Pietro never acted this way.

"What was that 'bout, yo?"

"Oh," Lance smirked, "he just got back from his date with the…" SLAM

They both turned to the front door. Their was Tabby with a large duffel bag in one arm and a boom (lol) box in the other.

"Back so soon?" Lance said smugly. 

"No, why? Miss me?" Tabby replied, winking and blowing a kiss towards her former teammates. 

"Of course Tabby, no one could give blow jobs like you did." An evil grin formed on his face.

She gasped in disgust, "Someone had to do it, everyone knew you weren't getting any from a certain Kitty, how's that going by the way?" She shot him a satisfied smirk, shoved him aside and headed up the stairs, then hollered back, "I'm just hear to get the rest of my shit, might as well jam to some tunes while I'm at it." 

Lance just stood there dumbfounded. "Uhh…Well….Mystique isn't here at the moment, room's all yours." Lance said while rubbing his shoulder blade, then muttered to himself "Dude what's up with everyone shoving me?" 

Then he turned to Todd, Todd broke out into a huge fit of laughter but managed to say something in between laughs. "She…..laugh…..dissed……gasp……..you……..laugh………good." Then he fell to the floor gripping his stomach.

"Shut it Todd!"

Lance chugged the rest of his beer and crushed the empty can in his hand, making sure Todd saw. A loud gulp was heard.

"Yo, tomorrow is 'Pick on the Toad Day' sorry." Then he hurriedly hopped towards the living room to hide behind Freddy. 

"Never an ordinary day at the Brotherhood Boarding House" Lance said to himself in an TV announcer sort of tone. Then chuckled to himself. 

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Pietro laid in his bed staring up at the ceiling. He sighed and began to glance around his room. It was the typical teenage boys room, clothes flung everywhere, two Quicksilver Surfing posters (lol), some music posters like NOFX and Sum 41, band like that. Oh yea and the standard Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model poster.

Then his eyes drifted to his nightstand, he noticed an old picture of the Brotherhood, just him, Lance, Todd, Freddy, and their lil' sis' the Rogue." They were all posing funny. Freddy was ¾'s the way done with one of those really long sub sandwiches. Toddy was in the midst of catching a fly, tongue sticking out and all. Lance was flipping the camera off with one hand and the other was holding his trademark Stone Brewery Pale Ale in the other. And well Pietro and his arms crossed over his chest and he was supposed to have his trademark 'I'm all that' look on his face, but instead his eyes were rolling up into his head and he had this silly smile that stretched from ear to ear. Well that was because Rogue was righ next to him, her lips were lightly pressed onto Pietro's cheek, with the classic 'foot pop'. 

He took in a deep breath and began to think about what had happened earlier that night. Tabby's music began to seep through his walls, it was Madonna's "To Have an Not to Hold". "TABBY TURN THAT SHIT OFF!"

There was no reply, she obliviously hadn't heard. He was too depressed to do anything about it anyways. So he just lay their listening to the song. And thinking about earlier. 

__

To have and not to hold

So hot yet so cold

My heart is in your hand 

And yet you never stand

Close enough for me to have my way. 

*Flashback*

I leaned in to hold you, just to feel your body against mine. But you just turned away. How could someone so beautiful be so bitter? I put myself on the line and you turned me down. I told you I loved you, and all I wanted was you. I shouldn't have pushed it, I guess I'm more like my father than I think, but I love you. I need you. 

To love but not to keep

To laugh, not to weep

Your eyes, they go right through

And yet you never do 

Anything for me to want to stay. 

I constantly flirted with you, but you would blush and turn away, frightened of what might happen. We were good friends, we would stay up late talking about anything. Some times about the funny things those X-geeks got themselves into and we would laugh. Or sometimes we would talk about our past. Like how your foster father beat you and your foster mother never did anything to stop it. I saw how your heart broke every time you spoke, but you never cried not even a single tear. I guess that would make you tough, but deep down I know you trusted me. When I told you I loved you, you looked at me with those piercing emerald eyes and you said you didn't, but I know, yes I know you do. You broke my heart, a part of me died when you replied the way you did. Even though I know I shouldn't I still want you. I need you, like you need me. 

__

Like a moth to a flame

Only I am to blame

Ba ba da ba ba ba

What can I do?

Ba ba da ba ba ba

I go straight to you

Ba ba da ba ba ba

I've been told 

You're to have, not to hold.

I'm like a moth to a flame, I know I shouldn't love you, but I do. I know it hurts, to have never been loved or touched before, but I would take care of you, I'm not afraid, if only you could see. I'd do whatever it takes to make you happy. I yearn to kiss you, no matter the consequences. I want you. 

__

To look but not to see

To kiss but never be

The object of your desire

I'm walking on a wire 

And there's no one at all 

To break my fall 

You know I love you and you know you love me. But you deny it. Why? I LOVE YOU! Remember when we were happy? And you would peck me on the cheek all the time and giggle. After the day you left, I have never seen you as happy than when you were when you were with us, with me. I put my heart on the line and you broke it, I stumbled, a bit of hurt pride. But when I looked into your eyes it was like it hurt you more than it hurt me. You turned around and walked into your room. I heard the CLICK of your lock, the THUMP of you lander on the floor, I saw your shadow underneath the door, and then, then I heard you weep, so silent. Then the most sorrow filled sentence I've ever head you spoke "Sorry Pietro, I can't……". My breath leapt out of my lungs I felt dizzy, I couldn't breath. As I turned to leave I could swear I heard you heart brake into a million pieces. "I'll always love you."

__

Like a moth to a flame

Only I am to blame

Ba ba da ba ba ba

What can I do?

Ba ba da ba ba ba

I go straight to you

Ba ba da ba ba ba

I've been told 

You're to have, not to hold.

Your to have, not to hold

Your to have, not to hold

Pietro sat up in his bed, pulled his feet to the side and got up. He walked towards his window and opened it, the cold night air filled his lungs, the stars where beautiful, it was the perfect night. He looked towards the direction of the mansion, a lone tear rolled down his cheek. "I'll always love you." 

__

To break my heart.

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A/N: You like? Please say you do. Any way I can improve, I can take it, but not to harsh please.


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